Title: Celebrity Blind Date
Rating: none really
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Vivian
Summary: The things a prince has to do in the name of charity…
Word Count: 1000
Prompt: “Blind Date”
Author's Notes: so not betad
Arthur followed Morgana down the corridor to the Blind Date set, still unsure how she’d talked him into this.
The new presenter, Sophie something or other, simpered at the camera and twittered on about celebrities and charity.
Arthur watched with a sinking feeling in his stomach as an actress called Mithian Masters asked stupid questions and received even more stupid answers. The man she chose was a ferrety man called Cedric who had known how to give the right answers.
Two more celebrities went up, and Arthur found himself cringing at every answer until it was his turn.
“And for our final date tonight, the one you’ve all been waiting for, please welcome to the stage, The Prince of Wales!”
Arthur walked self-consciously to the chair. He was used to public speaking and standing in front of a crowd, but this was something completely different.
He looked down at the questions on his card. “Contestant number one, if we were to go for a meal, what sort of restaurant would you pick?”
“Hi Arthur,” said the first woman on the other side of the screen. “Um… I would take you somewhere really romantic, perhaps French or Italian, where we could really talk and get to know one another.”
“Thank you. Same question to number two.”
“Hi Arthur,” the next woman giggled. “Well now, I think I would pick an Indian restaurant, because I like things a bit hot and spicy.”
“Er, ok.” This was the sort of tacky comment Blind Date was famous for. “And contestant three?”
“Uh, yeah… um who would be paying?” There was a ripple of laughter in the audience at the man’s reply. Arthur gave a small start, A man? He resisted to urge to glance over at Morgana in the wings. Was this her doing? Was she trying to out him on national television? “If I’m paying then I guess pizza is always good. If you’re paying, I guess posh pizza,” the contestant continued.
Arthur snorted and shook his head even though the contestants couldn’t see him. What a stupid answer, surely they had been told the questions in advance?
“Right, next question. My sister always tells me that if I were an animal, I’d be a golden labrador, because I’m loyal and not too bright, according to her. What animal would you be and why? And that’s to contestant number two please.”
“Arthur, darling, I’ll have to go with a tiger, because I’m a bit of an animal in the bedroom. Grrrr.”
Arthur quickly moved on. “Contestant three?”
“Oh, erm… I think a bird maybe? It would suit my name. And I quite like to be able to fly.” There was a lovely timbre to the man’s voice, and a hint of a Welsh accent.
“Right. And contestant one please.”
“Oh, I think I’d be rabbit!” There were titters from the audience, obviously waiting for her answer to get saucy. “Um, no! I mean, because bunnies are cute, not for any other reason! That is to say… I wasn’t…”
Arthur laughed and shook his head. “Ok! So. My hobby is polo and I’d love to take you to a game. Tell me about your hobbies, contestant number three.”
“Um… er… I like doing magic tricks? I could show you that sometime, or something, if you wanted. Or, you know, I like movies and stuff.”
Arthur snorted. At least he hadn’t made obvious jokes about being magic in bed.
“And contestant number one?”
“I like making things, clothes mostly, um, you could come and model for me if you like!”
“Ok, and lastly, contestant number two.”
“Oh! Well, I play the violin, so if you come on a date with me, we could make sweet music together!”
“Well, now, Prince Arthur,” the presenter said with a big fake grin on her face. “Will you choose contestant number one, she’s fluffy and romantic and wants to undress you! Or will it be contestant number two, she’s a spicy animal in the bedroom! Or finally, will it be contestant number three, the birdman of Azkaban, who wants to take you for pizza! The decision is yours!”
Arthur would love to pick contestant three, his tastes leaned far more towards men and he really did like this man’s voice. However, it would be an international scandal and Uther would kill him. Contestant two was definitely out. Contestant number one it was then.
“Three.” Where had that come from?
The presenter looked stunned. “Um… really? Three? You’re sure? Ok… Well then, let’s meet the ones you turned down! First of all, who wouldn’t want to go on a date with contestant number one, the lovely Gwen all the way from Bradford! Come on out, Gwen!”
Gwen was beautiful, with a big open smile and kind eyes – Arthur could easily have been happy going on a date with her. “I’m sorry,” he said as he shook her hand.
The next girl out, “the gorgeous Vivian from Faversham” strutted up to him on gravity-defying heels and fluttered her fake eyelashes. “Changed your mind now?”
“But your date for tonight, are you ready? Let’s meet Merlin from Aberystwyth!”
Arthur’s ‘date’ tripped over his own feet on his way down the stairs to meet him.
However, the blinding smile he greeted Arthur with when he finally reached him, made him think maybe this wasn’t such a bad choice after all.
“Sorry, I wasn’t supposed to be doing this, my friend Freya got a last minute attack of the nerves and there was no one else available at such short notice! Sorry you got stuck with me!”
Arthur grinned. “You mean you weren’t desperate to go on telly and meet royalty?”
Merlin looked slightly affronted before realising Arthur was joking. “Nah, I hear they’re all prats.”
Arthur snorted. “You can’t talk to me like that!”
“Sorry, I hear they’re all prats, your magnificence.”
“Just Arthur will do.”
“So, Arthur, Where are you taking me for this posh pizza then?”