Title: Shut up, Merlin
Character/s: Merlin, Kilgharrah, Arthur
Summary: Shut up, Merlin.
Word Count: 666
Prompt: 305 - Galavant’s ‘My Dragon pal and me’
Author's Notes: I loved that show. It was very silly.
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; It and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
It seemed to creep into everything. It haunted his days, destroyed his nights. It was never far from his perception. The ever-insistent droning, happy and tuneless and there.
Kilgharran couldn’t think, he couldn’t do anything but try to escape it. He’d flown far away, a hundred leagues or more, and still it followed him.
More so, the sounds were past what a human might sense and certainly beyond their capabilities to produce. But whatever had happened, however the idiot warlock had managed to produce such torture and project it into the ether, Kil could not defend against it. He could hear every vibration beating against the inside of his head. It made him want to tear his scales out and stuff them into his ears to stop the screeching, but he knew it would do no good.
It was a dragonlord’s voice and one he had to listen to, no matter the distance, no matter the torment.
Merlin, earnest though he was, couldn’t sing, couldn’t carry a tune if his life depended upon it, and Kilgharrah was paying the price.
But two could play that game. So Kilgharrah sent out his own message. “SHUT UP, Merlin!”
“Kilgharrah?!” At least the caterwauling stopped. For the moment.
“You were singing. Again.” He tried to be patient, well, as patient as a thousand-year-old dragon could be, but cranky didn’t begin to describe how he was feeling right now.
“Sorry.” Merlin seemed to hesitate. “Arthur was complaining a bit, too.”
“I swear I will roast you alive if you start again. How you manage to send your incessant noise through hundreds of leagues into my head is beyond me.”
“I might have cast a spell?”
How that boy managed to stay alive all this time was almost beyond belief. Idiot.
“Really… a spell. How perceptive of you.” As Kilgharrah rolled his eyes, his voice bled sarcasm. “And can you uncast it?”
“Well, I don’t… know? It… I think I cast it when Arthur was being so annoying, the prat, and I told him to stop and he said that I should make him. So I tackled him and then…” Merlin grew silent a moment, then said, quick and breathy and as eager as one could get while talking mind-to-mind, “Arthur’s hands are amazing and he does this thing with his tongue and I might have cast it when he had his fingers up my bum and everything turned brilliant and I….”
“Merlin!” The last thing Kil wanted to hear about was Merlin’s love life. “I don’t care how it was done. Just undo it. And I don’t care if you destroy someone else’s hearing, or annoy Pendragon because frankly, that seems to be your job. Just stop singing to me.”
“But… um, I’m not sure how I did it in the first place.”
Merlin was a such a child, sometimes. Kilgharrah tried not to grind his teeth as he said, “Then replicate the conditions. It should trigger your memory on how you cast the spell in the first place. From there, it should be easy to undo.”
For a moment, there was silence. Then sounding as astonished as Kilgharrah had ever heard him, Merlin said, “Replicate the conditions? Replicate… as in having sex with Arthur again?”
“What part of replicate do you not understand? Redo, duplicate, repeat, sex with Arthur, have sex with fruit for all I care. Just fix this, Merlin.”
Merlin grew silent, as silent as only Merlin could be which wasn’t much really. The humming was at least manageable for now, not the screeching it had been. Kilgharrah hoped that Merlin would hurry up and do whatever he needed to do because Kil swore he’d wreck havoc on Camelot if something wasn’t done. He was at the end of his patience.
If there was an explosion of color and brilliance and pleasure sometime later that day coming from Merlin, Kilgharrah didn’t really care.
Whatever Merlin had done, it had worked.
The humming stopped. And it was glorious.