Title: When was the last time
Summary: He lived so long without it that it didn’t matter anymore
Warnings: no real kissing inside
Word Count: 354
‚When was the last time you’ve kissed someone, Merlin?‘
Sitting on the train, staring at the pages of the book he wasn’t reading, the words still rang through his mind and he saw Gwaine’s face as he said them. It was true, he couldn’t really remember. It had been so long that he truly really kissed someone that he’d forgotten what it felt like. He just wasn’t the type to kiss random people. It wasn’t his idea of fun to get drunk at a party and snog a bloke whose name he couldn’t even remember in the morning.
He didn’t need it. He lived so long without it that it didn’t matter anymore. He’d forgotten how to let someone get close. The walls he’d built around his heart after the disaster with Will all those years ago were just too strong and high to be torn down.
But it was okay, he could do without it. He had a job, he had friends and liked to travel. That was a fulfilled life, right? There were lots of people out there who lived alone, without someone to lean into in the evenings, without someone to hold, without someone to kiss when they were happy. They all managed. And so would he.
He only noticed that someone was trying to take the seat across his when a backpack nearly hit his face.
“Oops, sorry! Didn’t mean to…these trains aren’t made for people over 1,50.”
Merlin just nodded as the bloke finally stored his backpack away and sat down.
“Oh, I’ve heard about this,” the blond gestured towards the book Merlin was holding. “Is it any good?”
Merlin turned it to show how far he’d gotten. “Can’t tell yet, I’m only on page 40 or so.”
The other man smiled and Merlin couldn’t help but smile back.
They talked all the way back to London and when the blond, Arthur, had to get off the train, he left Merlin with his phone number and the promise to call.
For the first time in years, Merlin had the feeling that he could give this kissing thing another chance.