Title: Null and Void
Pairing: Arthur & Leon friendship, background Arthur/Gwen
Characters: Arthur, Leon
Summary: Superhero crack: Arthur has to defend Camelot from a wannabe villain.
Warnings: Do author's life choice regrets count?
Word Count: 565
Prompt: 359, defeat
Author's Notes: I think I've watched and read too much superhero stuff in my life.
“Try what you will, Dragon, but you will never defeat me! I am invincible!” The wannabe villain posed, actually posed, on top of the steps leading to the council building as he boasted. The giant robot stood behind him, echoing the pose.
Dragon, Camelot’s favorite superhero, stood at the base of the steps, thankful for the full mask that hid his features, because he really didn’t think it would be professional of him to be seen grinning at the idiot. “Uh, what did you say your name was again?”
The villain’s face went nearly puce as he sputtered. “I am Null the Master of Energy with the Power over all Technology! I already told you that.”
“Yeah, well, Null, can I call you Null-”
“No, you may not.” Null the whatever whatever looked absolutely scandalized at the idea that his full name wouldn’t be used. He was practically clutching non-existent pearls.
“Well, the newspapers won’t be able to use that full name, you know. They have space constraints.” Dragon tried very hard not to let go the laugh he was holding inside. The robot behind the idiot villain drooped as much as the villain, so obviously it simply mirrored Null’s movements as the villain thought hard about the fact that the name he’d worked so hard to come up with wouldn’t work.
Dragon almost felt sorry for him. Almost. The idiot had managed to take out his favorite hole-in-the-wall bakery when he tripped and flailed on his walk up the street to the council building, causing the robot to trip and flail and put its arm through the front window. The clean-up was going to take a few days at least. Days in which Dragon would have to live without his morning sticky bun.
“I guess you can call me Null, as long as they use my full title at least once in the articles. Or Mr. Null. They can call me that after their use of my full title.” It was getting harder and harder not to laugh at the putz in front of him. The robot was now tapping its chin.
Dragon sighed. As amusing as this was, he could see civilians getting their nerve back and coming forward a bit to watch the train wreck this had turned into. More than a few had their cell phones trained on the spectacle. “I’m sorry, Null, but can we wrap this up? I was on a date.” As he said this, he used a tiny burst of superspeed and ran up the steps. One punch and the robot and the man were down before they could react to his words.
The crowd around him laughed and cheered. The police came out of the council building and took over. The chief of police, Leon, who had been there giving a report to the Council about the beneficial relationship between superheroes and the police, pulled the headset controlling the robot from Null’s head and handed it to Dragon. “Here, take this before the military decides it’ll be useful or something.”
Dragon grinned under his mask and nodded.
Leon leaned in and whispered, “Tell Gwen I’ll let her take an extra long lunch today since this moron interrupted you two, but only this once.”
“You are a prince among men, Leon,” Arthur whispered.
Leon snorted as he started walking away to fill out paperwork. “That’s your job.”