archaeologist_d (archaeologist_d) wrote in camelot_drabble,

No means no

Author: archaeologist_d
Title: No means no
Rating: G
Pairing/s: none
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur
Summary: Puppies will melt anyone’s heart, except maybe a certain prat prince.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 671
Camelot_drabble Prompt: 402 - "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no!".
Author's Notes: none
Disclaimer: Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
"Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is no!"

“But, Arthur, I wanted….”

“No, Merlin, no means no.”

“So you don’t want to see the new puppies, then.”

“Merlin, what makes you think I’ve time for this? I’m the prince, not some girl’s petticoat giggling about squirming mongrels. And stop tugging on my cape. I’m not going to the kennels to see them.”

“Of course, you are. We named the big one, the Prat Prince. He’s got your eyes and the fur is the exact shade of your hair. But he’s a lot nicer than you.”

“I am perfect in every way. That you are insinuating that a dog might be better than me leads me to think that the stocks are in your future.”

“He’s happy to see me, unlike you. Licks my face, and his tail goes a mile a minute. We’ve put a little red cloak on him. Very regal. Sits there, lording over the others, just like a certain arse I know.”

“Merlin, I know what you are doing. Tricking me into going to the kennels isn’t going to help. I refuse to play with puppies when I’ve got the weight of the kingdom on my shoulders.”

“But Arthur, look at him. I think he likes you. He wiggles just like you, too, you know when you’ve gained weight and refuse to admit it and try to squirm into your clothes when you think no one is looking.”

“I am fighting fit.”

“Of course, my lord, you are perfection itself. But you might want to lay off the herbed capons.”

“One more word, Merlin, and mucking out the stables will be the least of your problems… what are you doing? I can’t be holding a puppy. It wouldn’t be… fine, give him here. He’s… that tickles.”

“He’d be perfect for cleaning up scraps off the floor. And entertaining you.”

“Merlin, I believe that is your job.”

“The entertaining or the scraps?”

“Both, Merlin. Watching you scurry around picking up after me is immensely entertaining. Why else do you think I throw things on the floor? For my health?”

“I knew it, you arse. I knew you were doing it on purpose. You really are a prat. Here, give me the pup. You don’t deserve him.”

“I will have you know that the dog likes me better than you. Obviously. He’s already cleaned off my face and rearranged my tunic. He could show you a few things about how I should be treated.”

“Arthur, I am not licking your face.”

“Idiot. About worshiping the ground that I walk on, as any good servant would do.”

“I’m still not licking your face.”

“I’m not… very well. I can see that for once, you’ve had a good idea, but I won’t expect another one for some time, because you are really hopeless at just about everything else. But I could use a good dog. I deserve one since I have to put up with you. Send him to my quarters. And Merlin….”

“Yes, dollophead?”

“We’ll need to call him something else, more in keeping with his station.”

“We could call him arse after his master.”

“I think we should call him Merlin since he’ll be constantly underfoot, begging for scraps, and causing mayhem wherever he goes.”

“I’m not that bad. Besides, you are always bellowing out my name. How will I know if you want the dog or me?”

“You won’t, but at least I’ll know that one of you will show up.”

“Hey, I show up. Eventually.”

“Hummm, well, at least this way, I’ll know that one of you will show up and it’s likely the dog. And Merlin….”

“Yes, Arthur?”

“Sometimes no can mean yes.”

“So does that mean I get a day off?”

“Merlin, sometimes no really does mean no. So hop to it. Merlin the dog needs bedding, and a water bowl all his own, and a soft blanket with his name on it and….”

“More chores for me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Tags: *c:archaeologist_d, c:arthur, c:merlin, pt 402:whatever you're going to ask, rating:g, type:drabble

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