Cherish
Title: Cherish
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: Gwen/Leon
Character/s: Gwen, Leon
Summary: sometime the grief of Arthur’s death hangs over then both but there is also peace in acceptance.
Warnings: remembered canon death
Word Count: 311
Camelot_drabble Prompt 538: Cherish
Author's notes: coming to you all the way from Drake's passage on the way to Antarctica
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; They and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
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They don’t speak of their grief. Over the years, it had become muted, dulled but never gone. Yes, there were moments of laughter, even joy. Their first child had Leon’s ginger curls but the blue of Arthur’s eyes. Sometimes, when she watched Owain play, Gwen’s heart seemed to stop, frozen in memory. Luckily their second was all Gwen’s, brown hair and eyes but with Leon’s steadfast solemnity.
Leon seemed to understand her moods. He, too, had lost a friend, a king, and someone who had been all but a younger brother to him. The anniversary of Arthur’s death, the horrors of Camlann and the dashed hope that Merlin might save him were as painful to him as they were to Gwen, and she tried not to bring them up. But often, her tears came anyway and he wiped them dry with a gentle hand. Then he would turn away and busy himself with training or hunting and leave her to her sorrow.
Merlin never came back, not even when she repealed the laws against magic, not even when Gaius died or the birth of her first child. He was as lost to her as Arthur and the grief was just as painful. She supposed he was out there somewhere, not dead but hopeless and alone. Sometimes, in the wind, she could almost hear him whispering Arthur’s name.
And she was sure he was still protecting them and Camelot, with unexplained impossibilities keeping them safe. She wished Merlin would come home but knew that it would never happen.
So much loss, so much of their future destroyed with a single sword thrust. At times, Gwen couldn’t bear it.
But there were other times when Leon’s soft reply or the joyous laughter of their children seemed to break through, and all Gwen could do was cherish those moments and let the past go.