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17 November 2012 @ 03:55 pm
Walking Away  
Author: weepingwillow9
Title: Walking Away
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: Mordred/Galahad
Character/s: Mordred, Galahad
Summary: Sometimes there's more to the choices you make
Warnings: None
Word Count: 429
Prompt: Choices
Author's Notes: So after my time away in Paris and working ridiculously hard I've lapsed back into these two...

The choices you make determine who you are. But there’s more to it than that, Mordred knows, as he leaves. The importance lies in the effect they have on the people around you.

Yes, he leaves Galahad in tears now, but he’ll survive. He’ll grow out of this infatuation, and he’ll move on. He’ll be brilliant. Smart, beautiful and loved. There’s no place for Mordred in that life. No place for someone with his dubious connections. No place for someone with secrets to hide. And certainly no place for someone who chooses all that, who disappears for days on end and returns days later, damaged, silent about what happened.

Mordred sees how much he makes Galahad hurt. This way, without him, will be better.

But more than that. This way will keep Galahad safe. This way, Galahad won’t be a target. Because Mordred has enemies. Every day he lets himself love Galahad is another level he sinks into danger. It’s better this way.

As for Mordred, well. He’ll die a little inside. Of course he will. But he’ll never let himself show it in more than a catch in his breath, a lack of colour in his eyes. And it will pass. Everything passes. As long as Galahad is safe.

 And if, weeks on, he thinks the pain just a little too sharp, he’ll never admit to it. And he’ll never take the decision back.

Galahad watches him leave. Blurred focus, through the window and the tears. And if he thought it would change anything, he’d go after Mordred. But it won’t. The fact that it wasn’t Mordred’s decision to make didn’t stop him; the fact that he made the wrong choice is going to be of little consequence.

Still, Galahad lies with his head falling off his bed and the blood sinking there, and he hurts. Just a little broken, he waits for it to pass, knowing at the same time that he’s going to have an incredibly long wait. The same as the wait he’ll have for Mordred to return.

Mordred won’t look back, so he’ll never know. And that’s alright, because at least then he can keep his view of Galahad as something brilliant, but unable to make his own decisions about who he loves. And that’s alright. Galahad can remain free from bitterness about that. Because there are more pressing concerns, like the hollowness where Mordred used to be.

In the meantime, Mordred keeps walking. And he never looks back. In the hope that the pain will fade, the further from him the source is.

archaeologist_d: Merlin Emrysarchaeologist_d on November 18th, 2012 09:25 pm (UTC)
I liked that Mordred sacrificed his happiness for Galahad's. Well done.
weepingwillow9weepingwillow9 on November 19th, 2012 08:06 am (UTC)
Thank you :) he's not evil, just... misguided

Edited at 2012-11-19 08:07 am (UTC)
k_nightfox: Colin Smearyk_nightfox on November 20th, 2012 01:24 pm (UTC)
Ouch! There you go, ripping my heart out again! Thing is, I think Mordred's right. If he can't or won't pull himself out of the mess his life is then he really shouldn't get involved with anyone else.

What really struck me about Mordred was this:someone who chooses all that

That tells me his lifestyle is a conscious choice at this point in time, something he chooses over Galahad and frankly, G deserves better.

Nice one!!
weepingwillow9weepingwillow9 on November 20th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC)
He does deserve better, but the painful part is that he'll never see that since he's trapped in love with Mordred, always wanting him.

Thank you!!
k_nightfox: Colin Smearyk_nightfox on November 20th, 2012 07:13 pm (UTC)
Yeah, he's willfully self-destructive chasing an obviously toxic love like that. I'd have to wonder why since his dad is a lovely guy. What's driving him? Usually people who chase abusive relationships-and Mordred is abusive here-do it because of low self-esteem. So why is Galahad so lacking in self-love? What's mom like? What was it like for him growing up? Hmmm...see, now you are making me think!
weepingwillow9weepingwillow9 on November 20th, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC)
His Mum's absolutely lovely, so it's not that he's had a lack of love. I think the thing is that he's grown up with Mordred so he feels like he knows him, knows that he's a good person inside and wants that part of him, what he sees as the real Mordred, but the inaccessible part of him. And part of the problem is that Mordred wants to be that for him but can't, because he has all these other commitments and pressures. Galahad's background is very much that love solves everything, and he thinks if he just loves Mordred enough he'll bring out more of the loveable side of him, even though it won't necessarily happen.

Galahad also doesn't have magic, next to Mordred who does, and that's got to be a contributing factor.

But the main thing is that Galahad's in love, and he's a determined person who's not going to give up on that easily. He never seems to get any closure either because he always knows that Mordred wants him, even if Mordred loves him. So he can never really move on from that, because there's always the hope that Mordred will change his mind about what he should and shouldn't do...

Anyway, I explain it better in this
Yennyyenny2206 on November 20th, 2012 11:47 pm (UTC)
O Mordred!

P.S. The summary makes a wonderful quote :)
weepingwillow9weepingwillow9 on November 21st, 2012 01:06 am (UTC)
Cruel but fair :/

And thank you!