Title: Walking Away
Character/s: Mordred, Galahad
Summary: Sometimes there's more to the choices you make
Word Count: 429
Author's Notes: So after my time away in Paris and working ridiculously hard I've lapsed back into these two...
The choices you make determine who you are. But there’s more to it than that, Mordred knows, as he leaves. The importance lies in the effect they have on the people around you.
Yes, he leaves Galahad in tears now, but he’ll survive. He’ll grow out of this infatuation, and he’ll move on. He’ll be brilliant. Smart, beautiful and loved. There’s no place for Mordred in that life. No place for someone with his dubious connections. No place for someone with secrets to hide. And certainly no place for someone who chooses all that, who disappears for days on end and returns days later, damaged, silent about what happened.
Mordred sees how much he makes Galahad hurt. This way, without him, will be better.
But more than that. This way will keep Galahad safe. This way, Galahad won’t be a target. Because Mordred has enemies. Every day he lets himself love Galahad is another level he sinks into danger. It’s better this way.
As for Mordred, well. He’ll die a little inside. Of course he will. But he’ll never let himself show it in more than a catch in his breath, a lack of colour in his eyes. And it will pass. Everything passes. As long as Galahad is safe.
And if, weeks on, he thinks the pain just a little too sharp, he’ll never admit to it. And he’ll never take the decision back.
Galahad watches him leave. Blurred focus, through the window and the tears. And if he thought it would change anything, he’d go after Mordred. But it won’t. The fact that it wasn’t Mordred’s decision to make didn’t stop him; the fact that he made the wrong choice is going to be of little consequence.
Still, Galahad lies with his head falling off his bed and the blood sinking there, and he hurts. Just a little broken, he waits for it to pass, knowing at the same time that he’s going to have an incredibly long wait. The same as the wait he’ll have for Mordred to return.
Mordred won’t look back, so he’ll never know. And that’s alright, because at least then he can keep his view of Galahad as something brilliant, but unable to make his own decisions about who he loves. And that’s alright. Galahad can remain free from bitterness about that. Because there are more pressing concerns, like the hollowness where Mordred used to be.
In the meantime, Mordred keeps walking. And he never looks back. In the hope that the pain will fade, the further from him the source is.