Title: Campfire Boys
Pairing/s: Mentions Of The Following: Arthur/Gwen, Merlin/Morgana, Elyan/OC, Percival/OC, Leon/Mithian
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin, Elyan, Percival, Leon, Gwaine
Summary: The last night of a boys only weekend.
Warnings: crude language
Word Count: 814
Prompt: 46 Fire
The earlier prompts for “Modern Camelot” are on AO3
Arthur poked the fire and sat down. He and all his mates were on a camping trip. Fresh air, sleeping bags and a campfire, it was like Camelot patrol duty but not really. Tonight was the last night before they left.
Gwaine handed Arthur a bottle of ale. “So what have you all been doing that is more important than hanging out with your mates?” Gwaine asked as he looked around the circle.
“We have been having babies and getting married. You should try it Gwaine. It’s called being a grown man.” Arthur said.
“Nope not me.” Gwaine shook his head and laughed. “I have the ‘Jif’ syndrome and I like it.”
“Jif?” Merlin looked at Gwaine and realized what he meant. “You mean ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome. You had the wrong peanut butter, Gwaine.”
“I knew it was one of them.” Gwaine took a swig and burped. “I refuse to be grown up. Look at you all.”
Leon looked around. “We all look all right to me.”
“That’s the thing.” Gwaine said. “Look at your lives. The only one here having any fun is Leon. By the way how is that little librarian of yours? That’s one book you would never guess by the cover.” Gwaine laughed.
“Mithian is just fine.” Leon said. “She is a very nice woman.”
“A very kinky one too it seems.” Elyan laughed. “How’s the tooth, Leon?”
Leon turned red and took great interest in the contents of his half empty bottle.
“Now what Leon does with his girlfriend is none of our business.” Merlin said.
“Thank you, Merlin.” Leon said.
“He is only saying that because he is married to Morgana.” Gwaine gave Merlin a shove. “We all know she has a fondness for whips and handcuffs.”
“I don’t”. Elyan said. “I was never on spanking terms with her.”
“You’re the only one.” Arthur snorted in amusement.
“That is my wife and your sister. Show a little respect.” Merlin said.
“Really Merlin?” Arthur looked at him. “Hey Leon, does she make you call her ‘Mistress’ when you’re home?
“Well at least Leon knows who the boss is, unlike Arthur who thinks he is.” Elyan said. “He really isn’t anything more than a love sick puppy. Gwen has a leash on him and he doesn’t even know it.”
“That is your sister.” Arthur said. “You know, my wife and the mother of my children.”
“I can’t believe you are outnumbered in your own home, Arthur.” Percival said. “She went and had girls.”
“What of it? They are beautiful like their mother.” Arthur said.
“Girls are trouble.” Percival said as he played in the dirt with a stick. “All kinds of trouble.”
“He and Mary broke it off again.” Merlin said.
“Is that the fourth or fifth time?” Leon asked.
“I think it’s the sixth.” Elyan said.
“No it’s the seventh.” Gwaine said. “All that time at the gym is because he is frustrated.”
“It is not!” Percival threw the stick into the fire.
“There is only two reasons that men go to the gym.” Gwaine said.
“Either you are frustrated or you’re gay. We all know you’re not gay. Morgana told us.”
The whole group started laughing. Merlin got up and started toward the tents.
:Aw come on, Merlin.” Gwaine said. “Don’t go off mad.”
“Morgana is my wife and I love her.” Merlin said. “It’s not funny.”
“No it isn’t.” Arthur said. “Come on back. At least she isn’t like Elyan’s girlfriend. She calls him constantly.”
Merlin came back and sat down.
“No she doesn’t.” Elyan said.
As if to prove Arthur’s point, Elyan’s mobile went off. Arthur picked it up before Elyan could get to it and showed it to everyone. “See what I mean.”
Arthur handed the phone to Elyan who went off a distance to get some privacy.
Elyan came back and sat down. “Sorry. She just wanted to say goodnight.”
“You know what you all are? You are old men.” Gwaine said as he chucked his empty bottle over his shoulder. “That is why I will never grow up.”
“Gwaine, you’re drunk.” Merlin said. “Go sleep it off. We should all turn in. We have to head back in the morning. I will be glad to see my wife and my son.”
“I wonder if Gwen and the little princesses missed me.” Arthur said.
“Cassie said she is going to make lamb stew for me when I get back.” Elyan said.
“I miss Mary.” Percival said. “I think I’ll call her when we get back.”
“I wonder what Mithian has planned for us this week.” Leon said.
“I don’t have anyone.” Gwaine said as he stared into the fire.
They all looked at Gwaine.
“You have us.” Merlin said.
They all nodded.
“Thanks.” Gwaine went to stand up and passed out.
They all stared at him and thanked their lucky stars they were grown-ups.