Title: The Spider Conundrum
Character/s: Gaius, Merlin
Summary: Gaius tries to teach Merlin. Tries, being the functionary word.
Word Count: 236
Author's Notes: Here's some humour(crack?), Merlin fans. Because I'm too depressed to go through the Merlin-did-not-heal-after-Arthur-died trope. Maybe humour is becoming my thing around here?
"What?! No. No way, no!"
"Merlin, will you please just-- "
"No, Gaius, that’s cruelty. Do you want me to be cruel?! I'm not cruel-- "
"Merlin, it’s just a spider."
"It has life!"
“We’re not killing it. We are healing it.”
Gaius sighed. He should have known Merlin would be unreasonable about this. He tried his only weapon that seemed to have an effect on his ward. He raised his eyebrow.
"How else do you propose we learn the healing spell then? Do you want to break your own fingers?"
"No, of course not, no," Merlin seemed to take offense at the suggestion. Gaius was thankful he had at least some sense of self preservation.
"Hence, the spider. Spiders are simple. They are a logical starting point to learning the healing spell."
"But spiders are… icky."
Gaius prayed for patience to Gods above.
“Look. Here, I’ll let it out.”
“No, Gaius don’t!”
Gaius gave up and threw his arms in the air. “Then how are you going to learn this, Merlin?”
Merlin thought for a while.
“Maybe I’ll just… ask the dragon to teach me?”
Gaius looked at him. After a second, he said, “Fine then. Go learn from the dragon. As long as you get it right before Arthur sets out to the skirmish two days hence.”
“Oh I will! I’m going now.” Merlin hurried out of the chamber.
Gaius smirked. “Good luck, Kilgarrah.”