Title: To Drown Without
Character/s: Arthur, Lancelot, Gwen
Summary: Arthur knew he fancied Lance in sixth form
Warnings: It's painful...
Word Count: 415
Author's Notes: I'm sorry for the angst! But I'm not going to lie, details vary a little, but Arthur is me and Lance is my best friend and I needed a bit of catharsis after our conversation yesterday.
Arthur knew he fancied Lance in sixth form. Lance was an external student, from a secondary school a bus ride away, where Arthur had spent his whole secondary education in that one school. It was the best sixth form in miles, and they had History together. And Lance was beautiful, but then so was Arthur; so really he was nothing special. The only reason they hit it off was a chance encounter, being paired up by their teacher to mark an essay. And then, instead of marking the essay, they got talking. They, somewhat unbelievably, found their mutual love of medieval sword combat techniques. They exchange numbers. Arthur found himself looking at Lancelot and getting little butterflies in his stomach.
They spent their free periods together, sometimes working, sometimes wrestling across the floor of the study room under the guise of examining possible techniques.
And then Lance asks Gwen out, and Arthur’s world falls through. He had been sure it had been flirting; but clearly not, if it was Gwen who Lance wanted. And it hurts, sharp daggers of pain, through his stomach and his heart, until he learns to love Lance as just a friend; a brother even.
And it lasts. All through the second year of sixth form, the first year of University. But then over summer, something changes. They see each other far more than Arthur had expected, and they can’t seem to stop, making every excuse.
Until Arthur falls off his horse. It’s a nasty accident, but the recovery goes well, and it’s followed, closely, by Lance. He’s away at the time, so all he can do is text, but it’s good, it’s company.
It gets them both thinking. Or so it would seem, from Lance’s texts.
They meet up, not long after. Arthur aches to tell Lance everything he feels, but he can’t push. He knows he can’t.
Slowly, it all comes out. How much each of them care. How much they long-
And that would be great, that would be amazing, and Arthur’s heart soars for a moment before he realises, before the lead ties itself to his hopes and drags them down, drags them under.
They can’t date. Not now. They’re too far apart at university, too busy to travel between the two cities as often as they’d like. And perhaps saying no for now is the lesser heartbreak.
They agree to wait. They agree to let it go, for now. Arthur watches his happiness drown without him.