25 November 2013 @ 11:26 am
Author: brunettepet
Title: Jerk
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: Arthur/Merlin
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Sometimes Merlin hates his job
Warnings: Arthur's a jerk
Word Count: 300
Prompt: Relief
Author's Notes: I don't understand how I can get Arthur's pants off and still nothing happens.

Merlin was seething. This idiot had been coming in every few days for over a month, complaining about his ineptness as a sales associate while spending an obscene amount of money on beautiful clothes that were obviously tailored just for him.

“How you ever got a job in a high end men’s wear department is beyond me,” Arthur mused while buttoning up the fly on a pair of designer jeans. He’d insisted Merlin carry the half dozen pairs of jeans he wanted to try on into the dressing room. “How do these look?”

“They look great. They definitely don’t make you look at all fat,” Merlin grumbled. He actually thought the jeans made Arthur’s arse look amazing but he wasn’t going to mention that. Arthur met his gaze in the mirror and smiled.

“You think I look great?” Merlin rolled his eyes and stiffly handed over another pair of jeans.

“You want to get coffee sometime?” Merlin glared but Arthur just smiled a bit uncertainly. “Let me buy you a coffee, Merlin.”

Merlin honed in on the white knuckled way Arthur was clinging to the jeans in his hands and his eyes widened. “Wait, seriously? So, what, all the insults and teasing were your idea of flirting?”

Arthur gave him a sheepish smile. “I’m not very good at it?”

“Not very good is the understatement of a lifetime,” Merlin grinned. “It’s a good thing you’re so pretty. You’re kind of a jerk.”

Merlin watched Arthur’s grip loosen with relief. “So, is that a yes then?”

“That’s a yes but I earned cake, too, after the hard time you’ve been giving me.”

“Cake it is and I’ll take these jeans, too. I like the way they made you look at my backside.” Arthur was smiling like an idiot.

“Jerk,” Merlin laughed.
rotruderotrude on November 25th, 2013 08:06 pm (UTC)
Let's hope that now that the truth has come out Merlin can learn to love his job.

This was <3
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 25th, 2013 09:47 pm (UTC)
Who wouldn't enjoy dressing men (as long as they're not jerks)?

Thank you ♥
hart_dhart_d on November 25th, 2013 11:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks for making me smile! Arthur the terrible flirter is so oddly endearing. I think Merlin has earned much more than cake!
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 25th, 2013 11:32 pm (UTC)
I'm glad this gave you a smile. I can just imagine Arthur being all demanding and pushy and childishly thinking that any attention is better than no attention at all!

Thanks for reading!
archaeologist_d: Bradley and Colin had me at helloarchaeologist_d on November 25th, 2013 11:48 pm (UTC)
THis was great. Loved that Arthur was so bad at flirting. :D
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 26th, 2013 02:54 pm (UTC)
Arthur would blame Merlin for his epic fail at flirting. The boy puts him off his game!

Thanks for reading :D
47eleven47eleven on November 26th, 2013 01:16 pm (UTC)
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 26th, 2013 02:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you *grins*
From a little spark may burst a mighty flamedante_s_hell on November 26th, 2013 08:51 pm (UTC)
Lol! I love Arthur's version of flirting and I can just imagine what he looks like in those jeans (oh, yes I can!). Great story!
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 26th, 2013 09:24 pm (UTC)
Is it any wonder Merlin didn't take kindly to Arthur's you're an idiot with terrible taste version of flirting?

Thanks for reading!
ur_lionheart on November 26th, 2013 09:07 pm (UTC)
Aww this is so cute! I absolutely love this and the jeans and the everything! Cake! Oh my God! I'll (as you can see my brain has stopped functioning. But awesome job with this!!)
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 26th, 2013 09:27 pm (UTC)
Merlin was so mad he couldn't even enjoy the view! Well, he did for a millisecond but he just needed to make sure the jeans fit. He was looking in a professional capacity!

Thanks for reading!
millionstarmillionstar on November 27th, 2013 03:07 am (UTC)
Really enjoyed this - thanks for posting.
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 27th, 2013 02:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Arthur being wrong footed is always fun.
Bunnybunnysworld on November 27th, 2013 07:00 am (UTC)
Arthur will never really be good at flirting, will he? But hey, it worked :D Very nice!
brunettepetbrunettepet on November 27th, 2013 02:43 pm (UTC)
He is not smooth at all, is he? It's fun.

Thanks for reading!
clea2011: Merlinclea2011 on December 2nd, 2013 10:59 pm (UTC)
LOL! Love Arthur's utterly hopeless attempts at flirting, but he won Merlin in the end :) Lovely.
brunettepetbrunettepet on December 9th, 2013 03:32 pm (UTC)
Arthur is a bit hopeless around Merlin. It's a good thing he's got his looks going for him!

Thanks for reading!
aeris444: gwaineaeris444 on December 13th, 2013 03:34 pm (UTC)
Awww! I loved when Merlin asked for cake, too!
brunettepetbrunettepet on December 13th, 2013 04:21 pm (UTC)
Arthur has been dreadful so Merlin really does deserve cake!

Thanks for reading!