• Location: in the deep pits of hell
• Mood: accomplished

Nepenthe

Author: ur_lionheart
Title: Nepenthe
Rating: PG-13 (for mentions of suicide)
Pairing/s: Merlin/Arthur (implied)
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur, Gaius, Percival, Gwen, Leon.
Summary: Emptiness was the best nepenthe.
Warnings: Post-Camlann, lost Merlin, desire to commit suicide, alcohol abuse, pain, etc. (But a happy ending)
Word Count: 200
Prompt: #111 Nepenthe
Author's Note: So basically, Merlin tries to find a nepenthe after Arthur's death. Happy ending, of course. And, well, I forgot that I'd signed up and wrote this thing in 9 minutes. Sorry mods!!


Alcohol, they said. And Merlin tried that. Despite Gaius’ concerned looks and Gwen and Leon’s warnings, Merlin sat down at the tavern with Percival and drank as much as he could, and more. His pain was numbed for a while, but it always came back. Then there was a storm that killed humans and animals alike and Merlin quit.

Sex wasn’t something he thought. It was Gwaine who suggested it to him. And Gwaine suggested through Percival’s lips, and Merlin tried that, too. It worked for a while, but slowly it started losing its effect.

Suicide was something he’d thought of for a long time, but it wasn’t an option. No rope, knife or sword would kill him. Merlin had tried.
Emptiness was the best nepenthe, he thought. And he spent long, long years in it. But sometimes, the emptiness gave way to the pain that he had repressed and he’d spend weeks in some far away hills where his magic won’t hurt anyone.

In the end, centuries later, he found out that it’s not emptiness, but the sight of the one you’ve loved for so long. The best nepenthe is to finally find what you’ve been waiting for.

-fin-