Title: Hold On
Characters: Morgana, Merlin
Summary: Set in alternate S2 where Merlin decides to help Morgana with her magic. Finding self-control sometimes means taking it from someone else.
Word Count: 1006
Prompt: #120, hands
The anticipation is a hand around her throat, squeezing until the room is too bright and sharp for her to focus on. Her gaze is on the bed anyway, fixed on the way Merlin is stretched out atop her quilts, long pale limbs taut and waiting for her more direct attention. This was his idea, one she never would’ve suggested, but with a sight like this to feast on, she is hungry to try it.
He draws her eyes upward, to the small smile curving his lips and not the heavy weight of his cock against his belly. It’s a necessary reminder, but she refuses to let the weakness show, even if her nerves crawl at what is to come.
She lifts her chin. “I thought I was in charge here.”
“You are.” His lashes flicker as he glances up at his hands. They reach for the bedposts, splayed just for her. “I can still stop you.”
She laughs, because it’s ludicrous to consider the scarves he pulled from her wardrobe could do anything to really stop him. His restraints are a masquerade for her, for her to believe she is the one in control when her life has been anything but in the months since she realized she has magic. Merlin has done everything he can to help her, guiding her in secret as they explored the lengths of her powers together, but even when she took him to her bed, she never fully escaped the fears that tormented her for so many years, the terror she’d be found, the horror the magic would harm those she loved best.
So when he suggested tying him down, she thought it a jest. It took walking in on him naked on her bed, the scarves in wait at his side, for her to see he was serious.
Though her stomach quakes, she steps forward and picks up the indigo fabric first. The color burns into her memories as she binds his wrist to the post. She purchased it specifically because it reminds her of Merlin’s eyes, changing with the way the light hits it just like his change with his moods.
Right now, his gaze is darker as it tracks her to the other side of the bed, pupils blown in his rising desire. He wants this, for her, yes, but also for himself, and she wonders if this has been his need all along. She will never ask, of course, because for all of Merlin’s goodness and care, she knows he needs to be the one to volunteer such private thoughts. A lifetime of pretense has created a man slow to believe in other’s faith in him. Nothing Morgana has done in the past few months has been able to alter that, but she will persevere for as long as it takes to prove her fealty.
It takes time to slip out of her dress, time that is both too much and too little. Each inch of skin exposed to the air quickens her pulse, as if this were their first time together and not one of many.
“Why during sex?” she’d asked.
“Because that’s the only time when you’re awake that you ever let yourself go,” came his soft response.
With the moment upon her, though, she fears what relinquishing those bonds will do to Merlin. Once, she set her curtains on fire when she came, prompting Merlin to tamp it out with a sweep of his hand before they were discovered. She doesn’t want to hurt him, but if she doesn’t at least try, he will know, like he sees everything else she never intends him to.
He sighs as she steps out of the final garment. “You’re so beautiful.”
Pleasure lights her from within, and she resists the urge to preen for him before joining him on the bed. Instead, she climbs between his legs and slowly slides up his body, letting her heavy breasts drag across his heated skin. The tip of his cock is wet where it gets trapped between their stomachs, and the throb at the base of his throat flutters faster than she’s ever seen it before.
Without a word, she straddles his hips, never looking away as she angles her body to catch the head of his cock against her pussy. It would be easier to sit up and sink down his shaft that way, but she doesn’t want to bear the distance that would separate them, concentrating on taking him in like this though it means doing so without the wild abandon she normally brings to bed.
Air whistles between his teeth when he’s fully sheathed. “Let go,” he whispers. “Trust yourself.”
She nods. But what Merlin doesn’t know, what he has never understood, is how he strengthens her to reach the heights he’s so convinced she can achieve. Her hands glide down his arms, caressing his smooth skin, and thought it means lifting her hips slightly and losing some of the fullness his cock brings, she needs to flatten against his upper body in order to reach the bedposts.
His eyes widen in query when Morgana folds her fingers over his, but she stifles anything he might utter with the kiss she’s needed since finding him tonight. As she starts to rock along his shaft, the familiar roil of magic beneath her skin seethes as it always does when they come together. It will erupt when she can no longer contain it, and then it will be her responsibility to find the focus again to bring it back under control before anyone gets hurt, but as Merlin kisses her back, she suddenly believes she can actually do it.
Will it be simple? No, she doesn’t think so. In fact, she thinks it might be the hardest thing she’s done since confessing to Gaius about her powers.
For Merlin, however, for everything he has done for her, everything he has given, every ounce of love he’s created in her without even trying, she will do it.