Title: Better things to do
Summary: Arthur wants to believe Merlin but then things get in the way of thinking
Word Count: 621
Author's Notes: Thanks, issy, for the beta!!!!!!
Merlin pulled back and smiled questioningly at Arthur. “Are you okay?”
Arthur nodded, even though he felt a little queasy. He loved kissing Merlin and could do it for hours, but the images that came with it, still shook him. “Why is it so?”
Nuzzling into Arthur’s neck, Merlin pulled him close again. “Your mind tries to put the pieces together again. Your life in Camelot, it’s images of that which you see. At least from what you told me.”
“It’s so weird, I even see my friends as knights. Are you sure that this isn’t me getting crazy? I mean…like…like I add what and who I know to these…visions?”
Merlin shook his head. “No. You see them there because they were there.”
“Why don’t you just tell me how it was? Who did what and how it ended?” Arthur was a bit sick of trying to put a puzzle together that he didn’t have all the pieces to.
Merlin threw him a sad look. “You still haven’t read the legend, did you?”
“You mean, all I have to do is read that story and everything will come back to me?” At moments like these, Arthur was convinced that what Merlin told him what the truth. That he had been the greatest king of them all and Merlin was his court sorcerer and that they had united Albion – what would Albion be today? England, Wales…Scotland? Oh no, maybe not Scotland. – that his friends were knights of Camelot and protected him. They were on Merlin’s couch and it was believable that Merlin was older than he looked and acted in public. Which 18-year-old had his own place? Even though Arthur still doubted the 1500 years, everything seemed so logical when he was with Merlin. It was as if they belonged together and couldn’t be without the other.
The doubts only came back at night, when he was alone in his bed. Then everything seemed so crazy that Arthur sometimes decided to break up with Merlin, to go separate ways and never think about this episode ever again. But when he saw Merlin again in the morning, his whole being was drawn towards him, like he wasn’t complete without him and needed Merlin to survive.
“No, it’s most likely not how it works. Just reading it won’t bring your memories back.”
“Why read it, then?” Arthur felt himself shifting into a stubborn mode. “Why waste precious time reading a story that won’t help me remember? Maybe I’ll just mix that up with my imagination and dream about even stranger things?”
“I want you to be prepared.” Merlin put a quick peck on Arthur’s lips and ran his hand through soft hair.
Arthur was torn between fully claiming Merlin’s lips and asking what was on his mind. “You mean…it didn’t end well?”
The sadness in Merlin’s eyes almost overwhelmed Arthur. Okay, that could only mean one thing…he had died too early and left Merlin alone. For some strange reason Arthur knew that they hadn’t only been king and sorcerer but a lot more and that the man in his dreams, the one who meant so much to him back then, was Merlin. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” The happy smile returned to Merlin’s face. “I’ve got you back, that’s all that matters.”
Arthur had to kiss the smile and so he did, his arms around Merlin’s neck, his fingers grabbing the curly black hair tightly.
“Promise…promise me…,” Merlin got out between kisses, “…to read it.”
Arthur just nodded into the kiss, moaning when he felt Merlin’s hand caressing his back. If it meant so much to Merlin, he would read the damn story. Not now, though. He had better things to do at the moment.