Title:Hard To Move On
Pairing/s: Gwen/Arthur and past Gwen/Lancelot
Character/s:Gwen, Gaius, Leon, Percival
Summary:Gwen is torn after the battle at Camlann.
Warnings:Angst, Post 5x13 feels
Author's Notes:Haven't written or posted in a while... but this prompt got to me and all my feels for the show.
Being Queen of Camelot carried many responsibilities and Gwen continued to discover new ones as time passed after the battle at Camlann.
The King didn't not return from the battle. Though his body was not found and no one had seen him fall, Gwen had somehow felt him pass. Merlin's absence seemingly confirmed her suspension. Why should the King's ever-loyal servant return when the King would not?
Gwen knew Merlin well enough that Arthur's death would have torn his heart apart. Returning to a Camelot without Arthur... She understood his choice and so she mourned the loss of her close friend as well.
As if that had not been enough, her dreams had been haunted by Lancelot. Her imagination taunted her with scenerios of how his death had transpired. Sometimes he duelled with Arthur, other times it was Lancelot against an army chanting for his death. The dreams were so vived, when she woke she had to remind herself numerous times they weren't real. That Lancelot had not suffered and he had given his life freely.
She knew Gaius saw through the veil she wore when doing her royal duties. Though he tried not to show it either, some days were harder than others. On those days, it was their eyes that gave them away. Shining with unshed tears or dark and distance with the pain and sorrow.
Occasionally, Leon or Percival would join her for dinner. They would do things to make her smile or even laugh. They remembered the good times, Gwaine's antics on quests or Elyan's determination to ensure everyone was the butt of a joke, except Arthur. Gwen enjoyed those nights, but she thought they helped Leon and Percival more than they helped her.
Part of her hoped it would get easier as time past, yet part of her didn't wanted it to; she didn't want to forget, she didn't want to move on.