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07 February 2015 @ 03:24 pm
Dear Arthur...  
Author: clea2011
Title: Dear Arthur
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: Arthur/Merlin
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin
Summary: Dear Arthur, I was pleased to see the article in The Sun this morning with a full colour spread of pictures showing you leaving hospital.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 558
Prompt: 146 - Date
Author's Notes: This also fills the 'Food poison incident' square of my Trope Bingo round 4 card - that's 7/25 done.
Disclaimer:Merlin is owned by the BBC and Shine. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made. Don't send us to the dungeons.
A03 version is here

Dear Arthur

I was pleased to see the article in The Sun this morning with a full colour spread of pictures showing you leaving hospital. The balloons and teddy bears were, I’m sure, a great comfort to you in your time of need and you didn’t look at all silly carrying them.

Seeing you are so much better is, of course, a huge relief to me. I have been very concerned about you, although for reasons I will explain in a moment I haven’t been able to visit you and apologise in person for what happened.

I did warn you that I wasn’t the world’s greatest cook, and that my oven sometimes isn’t the best. Once I’ve graduated from uni and got a well-paid job I’ll buy one that actually works, I promise. If only you’d told me that chicken still looked a bit pink I’d have nuked it for a bit in the microwave. It was very sweet of you to gamely carry on eating it, but honestly I think our date would have ended a lot better if you hadn’t. In fact, my whole week, and I expect yours too would have been better if you hadn’t. Aren’t you supposed to have people to taste your food for you or something? Or is that just something from olden times? Maybe you should reinstate it.

Anyway, I hope Leon managed to get your puke off his shoes, and that he didn’t have to clean out your huge posh car as well. Do chauffeurs have to do that? He didn’t look very happy about it all. I guess it smelled a bit. That big security guard of yours looked pretty annoyed as well.

I was wondering, as you’re out of hospital and feeling better and everything, whether you could let your dad know that I genuinely didn’t mean to poison you? It’s only that I’m now facing spending time at his majesty’s pleasure, and that isn’t as enjoyable as I was expecting it to be. Your dad came to visit me the next day and shouted something about treason and attempted murder, and went a bit purple in the face and started demanding the return of capital punishment. And then his bodyguards, or whatever they are, took me away and locked me up. I think I might be in the tower but I’m not sure. I’ve missed three days of lectures. And the Daily Star did a big spread on me being the most hated man in Britain. They put in some really unflattering photos too. And they interviewed Mum and made her cry. Also I think the republican movement is trying to make me into some sort of hero and are staging a noisy protest outside. It’s very nice of them but I’ve had no sleep.

Well anyway if you could just see your way to speaking to your father it would be much appreciated. Maybe something in the papers as well to say it was a misunderstanding? I really do need to be able to get a job one day. You know, so I can live somewhere decent and don’t poison any more crown princes who come round for dinner or anything.

Yours very hopefully and apologetically,

Merlin

Ps I suppose there’s no chance of a second date? Maybe we could go to a restaurant instead?

 
 
newbiereader on February 7th, 2015 05:39 pm (UTC)
drabble
This really amused me and I would love to see a reply from Arthur.
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 8th, 2015 01:00 am (UTC)
Re: drabble
Thank you :) I think Arthur will just march on in there and rescue him!
janiecatjaniecat on February 7th, 2015 08:34 pm (UTC)
This was absolutely adorable! I have this vision now of poor Merlin locked away somewhere, innocent and bewildered, writing Arthur (possibly by the light of a single candle?) laying out his case. The way you painted the picture of the way events progressed was so perfect as each disaster built on itself. I sincerely hope we get a 'Dear Merlin' response from Arthur, or else I will worry for poor Merlin locked away in his little room for just trying to cook his Prince a chicken dinner (although not quite done enough...).
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 8th, 2015 01:01 am (UTC)
Oh that's a lovely image :D Poor Merlin, but I am confident that Arthur will march straight down there and rescue him, and all will be well. Thank you :)
archaeologist_d: Bradley and Colin had me at helloarchaeologist_d on February 8th, 2015 01:10 am (UTC)
Very cute. Loved how Merlin told the entire story while apologizing. Great job.
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 8th, 2015 04:06 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
Aranei_Eiselaraneieisel on February 8th, 2015 01:20 am (UTC)
LOL I loved it.
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 8th, 2015 04:07 pm (UTC)
Thanks :)
Gilliangilli_ann on February 9th, 2015 02:39 pm (UTC)
This was great! Awesome, hilarious and quite adorable. Poor Merlin, and poor Arthur. Yet if the first date was such a disaster, the second one hopefully should be perfect to compensate. :)
clea2011: Merlinclea2011 on February 9th, 2015 11:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) The second date will definitely be perfect.. after Arthur gets poor Merlin out of the dungeons :)
adsullattaadsullatta on February 9th, 2015 03:14 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious and adorable! Love it!
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 9th, 2015 11:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)
brunettepetbrunettepet on February 11th, 2015 04:47 pm (UTC)
That was hilarious. Uther locking Merlin up had me laughing and so did this: Also I think the republican movement is trying to make me into some sort of hero and are staging a noisy protest outside. It’s very nice of them but I’ve had no sleep.

I imagine Arthur will say yes to another date. He must really, really like Merlin to have forced down raw chicken :D.
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 12th, 2015 12:56 am (UTC)
Thank you, glad it made you smile :)
Arthur is bound to say yes to another date, just as soon as he's freed poor Merlin.
lawgoddess: Bradley gentlemanlawgoddess on February 17th, 2015 09:46 pm (UTC)
This was totally charming, and I loved that Arthur responded.

You could do a whole epistolary series!

Made me smile. Thank you!
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 12:29 am (UTC)
Thank you, glad you liked it :)
aeris444aeris444 on March 3rd, 2015 07:19 pm (UTC)
And once again my Mum thinks I'm mad because I'm laughing at my computer and unable to tell her why! ;-)
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on March 5th, 2015 08:02 pm (UTC)
LOL! :)