15 February 2015 @ 09:32 pm
Dear Merlin...  
Author: clea2011
Title: Dear Merlin
Rating: R
Pairing/s: Arthur/Merlin
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin, Leon, Gwaine, Uther
Summary: Dear Merlin, One trusts that you are well and in no way scarred by your brief sojourn in the Tower.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 565
Prompt: 147 - Enamoured
Author's Notes: This also fills the 'don't try this at home' square of my Trope Bingo round 4 card - that's 9/25 done.
This is a reply to last week's drabble 'Dear Arthur'
Disclaimer:Merlin is owned by the BBC and Shine. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit is being made. Don't send us to the dungeons.

Here on A03

Dear Merlin

One trusts that you are well and in no way scarred by your brief sojourn in the Tower.

It was a grievous error on my father’s part, but he swears it was born of love for me and fear for my well-being. I gather you were a little distressed when you were released and saw the pyre that he had built in the courtyard. He swears that was just a little dark humour. He is a most humorous man and prone to that sort of thing. I trust that you will grow to know and love him as I do in the future.

At present Father says it is best if you don’t come to the palace. Jokingly (you see what a great wit he is) he suggested a restraining order forbidding you to come within perhaps fifty miles, but of course that isn’t the case. However, until the fuss has died down he says we shouldn’t be seen together in public. Actually, he said I shouldn’t see you at all, but I’m sure he just meant in public.

I am quite recovered from your cooking, or rather your failure to cook, thank you. The trouble with going to so many countries and tasting so many different cuisines is that it becomes impossible to tell what is a delicacy and what is perhaps not. I fear that your cooking probably falls into the latter category. I would prefer not to risk my health again and I suggest that next time we order in.

I understand your flat is currently surrounded by members of the press, which I suppose will make it difficult to orchestrate the second date that you suggest. However, I must see you again and partake of the many delights you mentioned that we might share before I was so frightfully unwell. I will therefore send over one of my bodyguards to collect you and bring you to a suitable location out of sight of my father and the press. This will be Gwaine, whom you have not met yet.

Leon’s shoes are now quite clean and shiny again, although he claims he is quite traumatised from the experience of having to break into your flat and rescue me. Apparently my father needs to live a long, long time so that the memory of what he saw can fade from Leon’s mind. He says that he doesn’t care what I get up to in my own time but that he also doesn’t quite feel ready to handle currency and stamps with my face on them at the moment. I don’t quite understand why, as it wasn’t me who was tied to the bed in a mess of their own come and yelling that the vibrating butt-plug needed to be taken out right now!

I have paid him a bonus for his trouble, but he has asked not to be on duty during our next date. Gwaine, however, has said that we can call him any time for anything. He is a most loyal, selfless and hardworking individual in that way.

Gwaine will be with you at six-thirty. Please be packed and ready for several nights stay as I have missed you terribly over this past week and cannot bear the thought of being apart from you for another night.

Yours most ardently and devotedly


HRH Arthur Pendragon, Prince of Wales

Aranei_Eiselaraneieisel on February 16th, 2015 12:58 am (UTC)
LOL I love the part about poor Leon.
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 16th, 2015 07:55 pm (UTC)
Thanks :) Poor Leon!
adsullattaadsullatta on February 16th, 2015 08:20 am (UTC)
It's 3am, everyone else in my home is sound asleep when I run across this line: it wasn’t me who was tied to the bed in a mess of their own come and yelling that the vibrating butt-plug needed to be taken out right now! It was all I could do not to wake the house! Still chuckling over it. This is an excellent follow up to Merlin's letter, thanks for sharing it!
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 16th, 2015 08:01 pm (UTC)
LOL! Thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)
Bunnybunnysworld on February 16th, 2015 04:34 pm (UTC)
Poor traumatized Leon! :D

Those two! I hope we will find out how their second date will be!
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 16th, 2015 08:01 pm (UTC)
Poor Leon may never recover :D
Thanks :)
camelittlecamelittle on February 17th, 2015 01:35 pm (UTC)
This is brilliant! I spat out my tea at the butt-plug line, you owe me a new keyboard ;)
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 12:13 am (UTC)
LOL! I think I have an old one somewhere you can have :)
camelittlecamelittle on February 17th, 2015 01:40 pm (UTC)
P.s I won't say I'm hoping for a response from Uther, and one from Leon, and one from Gwaine after their next date. I won't *say* it! I'll just *think* it! and hope you read my mind :)
clea2011: Gwaineclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 12:14 am (UTC)
Oh noooooooooo! I think the 'letter' prompts are only for two more weeks. Leon is, I'm sure, too traumatised to write anything :D
archaeologist_d: Bradley and Colin had me at helloarchaeologist_d on February 17th, 2015 02:17 pm (UTC)
I liked how Arthur thought Uther was just joking about all those horrible things and I'm sure Uther wasn't. Poor Merlin must have been horrified.
clea2011: Merlinclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 12:15 am (UTC)
Uther wasn't joking at all! Poor Merlin! :D
janiecatjaniecat on February 17th, 2015 11:33 pm (UTC)
OMG! I almost died laughing at Leon and the 'butt plug' image! This was a wonderful follow up to Dear Arthur. Thanks so much for sharing this. Is it too much to hope that this might become an ongoing series...?
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 12:26 am (UTC)
Thanks :) Poor Leon is horribly traumatised :) Well, I think there are two more weeks of letter prompts to go, so if I can think of anything then there might be two more. Possibly.
brunettepetbrunettepet on February 18th, 2015 04:17 pm (UTC)
This is hilarious. Uther's pyre as a bit of dark humor? Arthur, do you know your father at all? Leon being traumatized by the tableau he walked in on is also hysterical. Gwaine, the kinky bastard, would probably ask to join in!
clea2011: Gwaineclea2011 on February 18th, 2015 07:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks :) Yep, that's exactly what Gwaine is hoping for, and why he's such an eager volunteer. :D
fififolle: Merlin BBC - Sir Leon happyfififolle on February 20th, 2015 10:58 pm (UTC)
LOL! Oh dear, what japes :D Hahaha! Leon just wants to forget, I'm sure.
clea2011: cannot unseeclea2011 on February 22nd, 2015 11:31 pm (UTC)
:-) But he can NEVER UNSEE! *g*
aeris444aeris444 on March 3rd, 2015 09:01 pm (UTC)
That was fun! But poor Leon, though I'm sure he's gonna see more soon! ;-)
clea2011: Arthur blueclea2011 on March 5th, 2015 08:04 pm (UTC)
LOL! Yes probably :)