Title: My Love
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur,
Summary: Maybe this was their chance.
Word Count: 999
Author's Notes: Now set in the future and the concluding part to My Heart and My Soul
Well… This is awkward. I know you remember me, I saw it in your eyes when you glanced at me. Your mouth instantly twitched into some sort of smile before you forced yourself to look away. There was a moment of surprise and your feet took a small step towards me. I feel it too, the way we’re drawn to each other. The last few meetings have been better and worse at the same time. We’re both remembering now, which makes our reunion so much sweeter and so much harder to say goodbye.
But we’re not starving this time. We’re not going against society by wanting to be with each other. I just wish this room wasn’t so crowded so that we could actually talk rather than just exchange fleeting glances. I never would have guessed when I received an invitation to the launch of the mars ship who I would find here. How many years have they been developing the technology for this now? They must think it feels like forever, that they would never be ready.
What do they know about forever? We, my love, are the definition of forever and this time I have no intention of leaving you. I don’t have a family, I never do. How could I when it would be just living a lie, preparing the whole time to tear them apart the second I find you again. But I have friends. A flat. I’ve done well for myself and I can see from the cut of your suit that you have as well.
Does this mean we are finally being given our chance to be happy together? That we have gone through everything in order to meet here and now? I would love to show you that flat, Arthur. It’s never quite felt like home and I know why. There is none of your presence there, just an empty seat at the table and a cold space on the other side of the bed. I need you in it, my love. I need you. I’m standing here practically trembling with how much I want your arms around me, your breath tickling my ear as you promise me that this time it is going to be alright. If it’s not… I don’t want a next time. I can’t keep doing this, Arthur. I can’t have one wonderful night with you only to never see you again.
Have you forgiven me for leaving you last time? I did come back, but I took too long. You never used to wake early, I thought I had more time than that. You left the letter on the floor, probably thinking that was what I had done to you. I only wanted you well and safe, I hope you can believe that. You should do; it was what you did to me beforehand. There might not have been men with pitchforks coming for us that time, but the outcome was still the same. I still thought you would die if I hadn’t gone, so in my mind there had never been a choice.
I certainly didn’t realise when I left you in that alleyway that I would be writing to you again. Not with a shaking hand across a crumbled piece of paper, but my fingers tapping away quickly and efficiently. I’m going to leave the device in your coat pocket. I know you will be informed, I can tell you have all the latest gadgets by the way you are talking with the other guests. Comparing devices and upgrades, the latest inventions. What happened to the days of candlelight shielding us from the rest of the world and our bodies moving together in the darkness? The world has improved, I just hope it hasn’t got in our way.
I’ve moved to the coats, but I can’t bring myself to stop writing to you. I don’t want to, just in case you don’t come. For this isn’t a letter, it’s an invite. Come to me, Arthur. Let us be together properly for once. Let me woo you – or the other way around, you still think of yourself as a knight and a prince, I can tell. Let us discover each other all over again and fall even deeper in love than we have before.
There, I’m stopping now. I’ll only break my own heart again otherwise.
I’ll be out in the gardens if you wish to find me.
Please, Arthur. Just…come, please?
Merlin sighed as his feet scrunched the frosted grass under his feet. He hadn’t even signed the note. He knew he wouldn’t need to. Arthur could have a legion of lovers, and yet he would know who this was from. The question was; would he come? Or had Merlin overstepped his mark when he spoke about them practically courting each other. They never had time for that. They had one night and then something tore them apart.
Not this time. This time, he was determined that they were going to do it properly, that they were going to be given a chance. Surveying the empty gardens, he sighed. That would only work if Arthur still felt the same way.
Merlin turned to leave, knowing he had been out here hours and was freezing. But a foot crunched through shards of ice and Merlin went still. That hadn’t been him. Slowly, barely daring to breathe, he turned around.
And he was standing there. The device clutched in his hand the way one would clutch a screwed up letter. There was longing on his face and Merlin suddenly felt at peace.
“Arthur,” he said quietly, not moving. And then he suddenly was, running across the gardens and throwing himself into Arthur’s arms. There came a small crash as Arthur dropped the device in order to catch him and Merlin laughed into his neck.
“Paper was so much easier,” he whispered, but lips meeting his stopped any further words. Merlin had no intention of complaining.