Title: It Happens Every Spring
Character/s: Gaius, Merlin, Arthur, Hubbard the polo pony
Summary: Every spring an attempt is made on Arthur’s life. This year is no exception.
Warnings: animal abuse???
Word Count: 741
Prompt: 162. Spring
Author's Notes: Agent Emrys #5 Oh this one is just twisted. I’m so sorry. This verse is weird.
It Happens Every Spring
"Merlin! Wake up!" Gaius shook the snoring young man.
Merlin opened his left eye and looked at the older man. "What?!"
"There has been a threat against the Prince's life. You need to go handle it." Gaius said. "It seems like every spring some new nutter comes out of the woodwork."
"If this happens every spring, why doesn't the King just send him away or something?" Merlin got up and started to get dressed.
"He tried that a few years ago. Arthur nearly got his head blown off." Gaius paused. "He probably shouldn't have sent Arthur on a hunting trip."
Merlin made a face. "Now who's the nutter?"
Gaius raised an eyebrow at him. "Better not let the King hear you speak like that."
"Right. What's the threat supposed to be?" Merlin asked as he pulled on his shoes.
"The note said the Prince will blow up at the polo match." Gaius glared at Merlin's cheeky grin. "As in explode."
“I'll check his kit and tack. If there are explosives in any of that I will take care of it." Merlin walked into the sitting room with Gaius on his heels.
"Do you know how to disarm bombs?" Gaius gave him a doubtful look.
"Yeah. I was top of the class." Merlin bragged. "I can disarm just about anything."
Merlin picked up an apple from the bowl on the table and shined it on his sleeve.
"Then you better get started. The match is only a few hours from now." Gaius practically shoved him out the door.
Merlin glared at the door after it practically slammed on his arse.
"Of course I know how to defuse a bomb I'm a bloody secret agent. I'm not an idiot." Merlin mumbled as he headed for the Prince's rooms.
Arthur looked up as Merlin came in. "Nice of you to show up for work, Merlin."
"Where's your polo kit? I need to check it for explosives." Merlin looked around.
"Hmph. Must be spring. It’s over there in the cupboard. It was just cleaned." Arthur pointed to a door.
Merlin took it out and laid it on the bed he looked over every inch. There wasn't anything there. He checked the helmet and the padding. Still nothing.
"Well?" Arthur stood looking at Merlin. "Did you find a bomb?"
"No. I need to check your tack." Merlin looked at the Prince. "You'd better come with me. I need to keep you in my sights."
Arthur rolled his eyes and went with Merlin to the stables.
Merlin checked the saddle and the rest of the Prince's gear and found nothing.
"Are you sure they said it was going to happen at this match?" Arthur asked.
"Yes. We've checked everything but ...." Merlin had a sudden inspiration. "Where is your horse?"
"You mean pony, as in polo pony." Arthur corrected him. "Hubbard is over there."
"Hubbard? What kind of name is Hubbard?" Merlin chuckled as he headed over to the horse.
"He looks like a Hubbard." Arthur shrugged. "How do you think they would get a bomb in my horse? He's a really picky eater."
"I don't know." Merlin ran his hand over the chestnut gelding. "I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have him swallow it."
"There's only two ways in since he's a he and all." Arthur said.
Merlin went to the back of the horse and raised his tail. There was a wire hanging out of the horses arse. "Nice. Well I can add that to my list of things I never want to see again."
"How are you going to get it out?" Arthur looked upset. "You aren't going to kill him, are you?"
Merlin looked at the Prince and swore he saw his bottom lip quiver just for a second.
“Stand back Arthur! This will get a little messy.” Merlin looked around and found what he needed. He turned on the spigot for the hose and walked to the horse. He put the hose in the horse’s anus and waited.
Merlin didn't have to wait long. An explosion of water, bomb, and shit came out of the horses arse.
Merlin caught the bomb as it came out and quickly defused it. He looked at Arthur with a grin. "Hubbard might not feel up to it today after all this."
Arthur hugged the horse’s neck. "Thanks. How did you know how to do that?"
"If I tell you then I'd have to kill you." Merlin winked.