Title:Grow a Pear
Pairing/s:Uther/?, Uther/Gwaine, (Brief- Arthur/Merlin)
Character/s:Uther, Leon, Arthur, Merlin
Summary:Uther was told he should try to understand his son's deviancy if he was to get back into his good graces, but why did he have to go to bar call P-Raiders to do it?
Warnings:Uther in a gay bar!
Author's Notes:I am diseased in the head for thinking of this! And yes I meant the fruit!
"Where are we exactly?" Uther looked around the place called "P-Raiders" and instantly felt the need to flog someone. Yes, a good old fashioned beating would be well deserved to whomever designed the hell hole in question, but since it was his fault he stood in the pastel paisley eyesore, he had no one to excise his frustrations on. DAMN.
"The place where they met sir." Leon faithfully replied. He was a good man. Decent in ways he wished Arthur was.
"Are you sure?" Uther gave the place one more look through. If the lights were turned up even a little bit more he was sure he would have seen vermin crawling on the floors, and those would have been the patrons of the place. "Arthur came here before he met him?"
"Yes sir. They have their anniversary parties here." Leon informed.
A slow breath left Uther's chest. This was not how he imagined getting to know his son again after 6 years of no contact. The family counselor he met with suggested he track Arthur's progression in his current relationship and see if Uther could find the things that his son had. "The walk a mile in his shoes" method intrigued Uther enough. It wasn't spying on his son and yet he could find out why he said he was happy away from everything Uther had trained him to appreciate.
At the very least if at the end of this Uther could not find one reason why anyone should want to be ...with a man, the least he could say was that he tried to understand and perhaps get a chance to see his granddaughter.
"Shall we have a drink at the bar sir?" Leon held his hand in the direction of something that didn't not look like any of the bars Uther had been to, but the CEO nodded his head once and lead the way to two empty seats at the far end of the...establishment.
"What are you having daddy?"
It was the third time someone had called him that since he sat down, and Uther was beginning to get a complex. "I don't believe I have met your mother so I heavily doubt I am your father. Further more, if you question your parentage enough to walk up to strange men and reveal yourself as the long lost progeny, the least you could do was put on some damn clothes before you did it!"
Leon seemed amused by this, but the young boy in question ran away. Hopefully Uther was successful in discouraging any other young men looking for a "daddy".
"Honestly I don't see how this is going to help me understand anything. So far I am irritated and having a horrible time." Uther sniffed.
The bartender, a man in small paisley powder blue short-shorts and not much else, overheard this and thought it best to join the conversation. "So you're new to P-Raiders? and not much liking it then?"
At this point Uther didn't want to get into a discussion with a shaggy haired half dressed man pouring drinks for more half dressed men, but what other options did he have? "I'm new to all things here, but should be treated as a guest or observer, not a participant."
"Well that explains why you aren't having any fun then doesn't it?"
Before Uther could stop him, the bartender whistled and hand signaled to one of the many waiters. A man about his son's age with long brown hair and sharp chiseled features strode up to his side. How did one get hair to bounce that way when they walked? Uther would have to ask his barber.
"Gwaine! This guy wants to have a good time, but he's claiming non-bent. Fix him up would you?" The Bartender clapped a hand on Leon's shoulder as if to tell him his job was done now. "You can stay with me while Gwaine here shows your boss all theat P-Raiders has to offer."
Uther was not one to be shuffled around or to have decisions made for him. He also didn't like other people telling his employees what to do.
"Come on pops, lets go dance!" Gwaine grabbed a very indignant and flustered Uther from his seat and pulled him toward the dance floor.
"I am not your father!" Uther sniped.
"Yes but you could be with how uptight you are. This is a place to relax." Uther jumped when Gwaine's hand touched his lower back in a suggestive way.
"I would thank you to remove your hand."
"Not going to happen. Can't very well dance with you if I can't touch you. Don't worry though, won't get too handsy since you're shy."
"I. am. not. shy! I'm just not a deviant like you." Uther held his ground.
"Prove it. Dance with me." Gwaine pouted with his solidly feature jawline teasing the older man.
"You set my father up with Gwaine?!" Arthur couldn't believe his ears. Merlin was obviously insane to think something like that would be ok. Both Gwaine and Uther were not known for control of their tempers. One wrong move and who knew what kind of hospital visits either of them would be taking.
"Stop worrying so much Love. Look at them." Merlin pointed from behind the bar to a couple on the dance floor.
Expecting to see the beginnings of a torturous fight, Arthur turned in the direction his husband of 3 years indicated. His mouth fell open wider then when Merlin deep throated him that morning.
Uther was grinding his hips against Gwaine to the beat of Ke$ha singing about not being able to date a "dude with a vag."
Merlin smiled at his husband like this was normal and in every way the way things ought to be, and Arthur fainted to the floor.